Feedback for my Kids poetry story?

I am doing a project on a kids book to help get them to be more environmentally friendly so made a poem pictures will come soon.

On top of the sky

Was a very big house

A big house indeed

Where he lived with his spouse

Mr. Ozone was a jolly man

Without a care

Nothing was bothering him

Only his bushy blue hair

OOO was he happy

To do his job

His job was very important

To keep the earth from Snob

He looked at the land

So far down indeed

Nothing was there

Only the natural trees

Protect the trees from

Terrible Snob

Was a heart filled job

For Snob was a horrible! Horrible! HORRIBLE! Flea

He would wilt the trees

Harm the bears

Destroy the earth

Without out a care

And so Mr. Ozone did his job

He was here to stay

Protecting the land

From this terrible prey

One night when he was asleep

Mr. Ozone heard a knocking below his feet

He dashed to the door but nothing was there.

He looked down at the earth at something rare.

Feedback for my Kids poetry story?

to long for a kid to read... send it to norra jones

Feedback for my Kids poetry story?

That was really good

Feedback for my Kids poetry story?

i actully think this is a veary creative poeam that shows how import the earth is and how we need to take care of it, i also liked the how you compared the living earth to humans and how they need to be taken care of or they get destoryed also how much it humans need it and how importent are earth is. i really liked it

best of luck with the poem

hope i helped

Feedback for my Kids poetry story?

It's ok, I asked my 7year old niece what she thought and said for a kid is kind of long.

Feedback for my Kids poetry story?

I think you should make the number of lines and rhyming pattern in each stanza consistent - kids take note of these things A LOT (or at least I used to, well actually I still do).

Feedback for my Kids poetry story?

This will be good, especially since you have stated there will be pictures. Kiddo's like pictures : )

It does seem long, and Snob? Read this a few times and just can't seem to get where this Snob fits in. I am probably missing something here.

Good luck on your endeavors!

Thanks for sharing

Feedback for my Kids poetry story?

Bravo! This is great. Kids will love it. And as I read, I could envision the illustrations. The kids will want to desperately know what happens next. I am glad that there was a hopeful and happy ending. Again, I really liked your poem.